Things you have to be a republican to believe.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to the spirit of international harmony.
A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about a blowjob is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s cocaine conviction is none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.
You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they are allowed to adopt.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
Via MadScience who got it via born_stubborn

Loopy website du jour.

I try to keep up on websites that publish regular columns or articles that help shine the light of reason into the cold dark void of societal logic. Two in particular are favorites. The first of course is, which I’m sure -everyone- who reads my blog knows about, has bookmarked, and visit every few days, right? Their ‘Whats new’ column is a great way to stay on top of the latest fad-like rumors flying around the net (Did you know that the reason Taco Bell stopped the little dog commercials was because the dog had been run over by a camera crane? (hint, FALSE).
The other site is James Randi’s site, which has a weekly update on false mysticism, tv psychics, money scams and a slew of other examples of con artists bilking gullible people out of their hard earned cash.
Occasionally though they come up with some really fun ones. The July 2nd column includes a link to, are you ready for this? The site Our Hollow Earth in which they state “ My study of gravity indicates that our earth as well as all planets are actually hollow. ” But wait, there’s more! They’re mounting an expedition to the North Pole where there’s an opening (there has to be, because the Voyager spacecraft found that all the outer planets “emit more energy than they receive from the sun. Radiation is emited from their polar openings from their inner suns to light up auroras over their poles just like our inner sun does here on earth.“)
Well there you have it folks. Don’t dig that garden too deep, you might slip right through.

Truth in selling on ebay.

When you want to get rid of something, and you really want to say what you think about the item. This poor fellow has a router table he doesn’t think much of.
“This Ryobi router table is the worst thing I’ve ever spent money on. Period. I’ve wasted money on a lot of things in my life: women, cars, other things I didn’t need, you name it, but I’ve never felt like I totally 100% wasted my money on something until I bought this router table. I’ve wasted money, but I normally got some sort of satisfaction out of it, no matter how small, I got something out of it This is the most worthless piece of crap item I have ever had the displeasure of working with in my life. I have much more colorful ways of describing this but I realize that there may be some kids that will read this so I will try to keep it PG”