You might be a Geek Fogie if…

With a nod to Jeff Foxworthy, I hereby present a couple ideas on how to tell if you might be an old-fart geek fogie…

  • If everytime you hit CTRL-ALT-DELETE, you expect to see Sidekick pop up for a second.
  • If you ever owned a a paper punch specifically for double-siding your floppy disks.
  • If you remember your amazement at copying a diskette using ONLY four disk swaps.
  • If you find yourself thinking that a Telebit Trailblazer would really speed up your internet use.
  • If you ever rented a truck to get a computer that someone was ‘just giving away’.
  • If you have to fight the urge to make FWEEEEE SCHHRRKKKRRRK noises whenever you hear an ATM or a Fax machine in use.
  • If you have ever uttered the phrase “Yeah, but the Newton was better.”
  • If you refuse to throw out disks for machines that haven’t been manufactured in over two decades.
  • If you know what ^X^Cc means.
  • If you remember the first time you bought a color monitor. Double points if you’re still paying for it. Special bonus points if you still have it.
  • If you find yourself in the middle of a problem, and being tempted to type ‘S..TILTOWAIT’
  • If you have ever personally owned an entire DEC documentation set, and thought it was the coolest thing in the world.
  • If you remember getting your first hard drive, and amazing your friends with comments like “This thing can hold as much data as FIFTY floppy disks!”
  • If you remember when disks WERE floppy.

Feel free to contribute any additions you might think of…

Random distractions

I generally don’t forward along memes, youtube videos, or whatever, but having just seen this one in Steam’s livejournal, I know enough cat owners to know it’ll be appreciated. Have the sound on, it makes it all more apropos. Totally worksafe, assuming your coworkers can handle “mrow?” and “BWAHAHAHAH”.
Personal observation. I believe this is like one of those Mutual of Omaha “hidden camera in the wild” videos. It’s the world of cats we never see or acknowledge. Or at least the world as they see it.

Total Fanboy Squee – Robot Chicken Starwars Special

So it’s no secret I’m a screaming fan of Robot Chicken, and introduce folks to it whenever I can. RC has been doing various star wars spoofs for a while, but now they apparently have their own special coming up.

June 17 will be the premier of the Robot Chicken Starwars Special. From the site:

Adult Swim’s “Robot Chicken” travels to a galaxy far, far away to create an all Star Wars-themed special. Premiering on June 17, “Robot Chicken: Star Wars” brazenly combines the satirical sensibilities of Seth Green and Matthew Senreich’s (Stoopid Monkey Productions) “Robot Chicken” with the unforgettable moments and favorite characters of the Star Wars universe — among them, its creator himself, George Lucas. Transformed into the stop-motion animated characters that are the hallmark of Adult Swim’s “Robot Chicken,” and in conjunction with ShadowMachine Films (Alex Bulkley/Corey Campodonicos), the Star Wars galaxy takes on an entirely different attitude.

The site also has a link to the trailer for the special. There’s a lot of material that’s already been shown on RC, but a lot of new stuff as well. Can’t wait!

Edit – ah, here’s the link to the trailer.

XM Advertising Execs – Ignorance is… something

The folks over at XM Radio really need to copy edit their advertising.
On the way home from picking up the kids in the carpool, I’m listening to XM, when I hear an ad for XM’s MLB channels. Now I’m all for baseball… it rocks, particularly when the Sox beat the tar out of the Yankees, but… when the ad copy says, and I’m quoting from memory here…

Coming to you from 22 million miles overhead… MLB Baseball, XM Channel 175

I had no idea that they were putting satellites well outside the orbit of the moon.
Snarks aside, XM provides services via two satellites in geosynchronous position over the equator (interestingly called ‘Rhythm’ and ‘Blues’. Geosync satellites orbit the earth at the same speed the earth is rotating, so they appear ‘stationary’ over one point on the planet. To do this, they have to orbit at an altitude of approximately 22,000 miles. (that’s thousand, not million).
I guess accurate copy just doesn’t make very interesting ads.

A smirk for the morning

From a conversation with Kevin about his final decision to punt windows and move on to better things…

nickhalfasleep sez:
Amazon users who bought a mac also purchased:
* Beret
* Black Sweater
* Smug attitude

While that certainly brought me a chuckle, the conversation definitely let me hash out bits about the triumphs and the pitfalls of abandoning the great satan (and I don’t mean the US government). The path away from Windows has always included Macs as a destination, but IMHO, until OSX was rolled out, that path could not be seen as a serious alternative.
What’s interesting now is watching how the bar has been raised on (dare I say) ‘both’ alternate environments. Linux and OSX. Both have matured enormously in the last 5 years, from ‘toys’ and ‘hacker student environments’ into true enterprise class platforms, while in all honesty, Windows has changed little.

A quickie XM comment

In all my driving around I have a lot of time to listen to XM Radio in the techno-van. Much of the time I spend listening to the various comedy channels – sort of non stop standup. It’s pretty interesting, but one unexpected delight keeps coming up.
Apparently XM Channel 151 has picked up the entire “Chicken Man” radio series. I used to hear this regularly on WMMR in Philadelphia, but hadn’t heard it since. It was a delight to hear that unmistakable introduction…

And now, it’s time for another exciting episode in the life of the most fantastic crimefighter the world has ever known… BRA BRAAA BRAH BRAAAAHHHHH CHICKEN… MAAAAAAAAN… (He’s everywhere, he’s everywhere!)

For those that know this series, you can’t help but smile and hear the intro clearly when reading those words. Even after almost 40 years, it’s still a hoot to listen to, and I have to thank the anonymous genius at XM Radio who managed to get this show back on the air.
Some further details about the show are here. Thanks XM!

You know you’re from Jersey when…

Following the train of gakkedness, Alyxyn referred to Tom’s website and noted that a discussion had sprung up on The Straight Dope regarding Tom’s list. I reproduce it here for your enjoyment:

You don’t think of citrus when people mention “The Oranges”.
You know that it’s called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.
A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.
You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
You’ve eaten at a Diner
You remember that the “Two Guys” were from Harrison.
You know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery.
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen
You know what a “jug handle” is. (Not a fat roll on the body)
You know that WaWa is a convenience store.
You know that the state isn’t all farmland.
You know that there are no “beaches” in New Jersey – there’s “The Shore”. And you don’t go “to the shore” – you go “down the Shore”. And when you are there, you’re not “at the shore” – you are “down the shore”.

And yes, every one of these I went “Yup.”

The Cyclists Haggadah

(As written by Evan Parks of NYC on The Cycling Forum :

All who are in need of spring training, come and ride with us.
All who are hungry, come and partake of our carbohydrate-laden treats.
[The bottle of cytomax is held up and the blessing is recited:]
Blessed are You, our G-d, Universal Ruling Presence, who has created the
fruit of the laboratory.
The youngest rider asks:
1. On all other rides, we eat all kinds of bars. On this ride, why do we
only eat hard, unleavened Power Bars?
2. On all other rides, we might consume a wide range of fruits. On this
ride, why do we eat bananas?
3. On all other rides, we might not dip our bananas even once in our gu.
On this ride, why do we dip our bananas twice?
4. On all other rides, we ride sitting up straight. On this ride, why do
we ride in a reclining position on recumbents?
The answer my children, may be found in the story of Passover.
This is the power bar of our affliction, which our ancestors baked 400
years ago.
Many years ago, we were slaves to our automobiles, driving hither and
thither, not knowing that a better way existed. If the Holy One, blessed be
He, had not shown us the way of the bicycle, then we, our children and
our children’s children would have remained enslaved to motor vehicle. Even
if all of us were wise, all of us understanding, all of us knowing the book
of Effective Cycling, we would still be obligated to discuss the liberation
through cycling; and everyone who discusses this liberation at length is
There are four types of children who ask questions on this ride: the
wise one, the bad one, the simple one, and the one who does not know to ask.
– What does the wise one ask? I don’t know; I couldn’t understand him
either. Him you must send to a school for gifted children.
– What does the bad one ask? He says, “What is this ride to you?”
Because he excludes himself from the community of cyclists, you must exclude him from your ride, and he will go back to his employer and get paid double-time and a half for working on a holiday.
– What does the simple one ask? He simply asks, “What is this?” You will
say to him, “This is a bike ride.”
– As for the one who does not know to ask, you must go to his room, wake
him up and say, “Next year, come to the bike ride on time!”
These are the Ten Plagues which the Holy One, blessed be He, brought
upon the motorists, namely as follows:
[When saying the ten plagues, spill a drop of cytomax from the sports
bottle itself ten times for each plague:]
High gas prices
Registration fees
Pot holes
Expensive parking
Speeding tickets
Sedendary lifestyle
First-born getting a driver’s licence
How many levels of favors has the Eternal One bestowed upon us?
If we would be wearing padded bike shorts, but not have clipless pedals,
it would have been enough.
If we would have clipless pedals, but not at least Shimano 105
components, it would have been enough.
If we would be equipped with at least Shimano 105 components, but not a
delicious post-ride dinner, it would have been enough.
If we would been served a delicious dinner and no dessert, it would have been enough.
If we would eaten dessert, but not have a hangover from too much carousing, it would have been enough.
(Pick up the cytomax and say:) Thus how much more so should we be
grateful to the Eternal One for the doubled and redoubled goodness that He has bestowed upon us! We do wear padded bike shorts, we do have clipless pedals, and we do have at least Shimano 105 components (and some of us have Ultegra and even Campy Chorus, and many other wonders), and we did eat a delicious post-ride dinner, and we did get dessert, and now we pray that we do not get a hangover from too much carousing — let us say, Amen!
Thus it is our duty to thank, to laud, to praise, to glorify, to exalt,
to adore, to bless, to elevate and to honor the One who did all these
miracles for cyclists before us and for us. He took us from car-driving slavery
to bicycling freedom, from steel-caged enclosed sorrow to the open road of
joy, and from bondage to redemption.
Blessed are You, our G-d, Universal Ruling Presence, who has redeemed us
and redeemed our ancestors, and enabled us on this ride to eat power bars
and bananas. So too, G-d, our G-d and G-d of our ancestors, enable us to
attain other rides and cycling events that will come to us in peace with
happiness, and with rejoicing in Your service.
This year we watch the Tour De France in the living room, next year may
we see it in person!

(Thanks… or something… to my father in law for forwarding this to me.)

Just back from Vacation – Our new ship!!!!

Hi Everyone! We’re back from our vacation, and I just HAVE to tell you ALL about this new ship we’ve just bought! We JUST picked it up from the dealer out on at the Federation Navy Assembly Plant out on Eglennaert 1, Moon 14! It’s just FABOO! Here’s a quick picture of it while we were out taking our test flight!
ANYWAY, once we picked it up, we just HAD to go for a cruise. Oh! I almost forgot, didn’t even say what it was! It’s an, hang on, let me get the brochure and make sure I get it JUST right. Ah! It’s a… lessee… a “Gallente ‘Catalyst’ class Destroyer”! There’s a whole bunch of babble here about being ‘well suited for both skirmish warfare and fleet support’, and something about ‘anti-frigate platforms’, but we just HAD to get it because it has the most AMAZING wallpaper in it. You all just HAVE to come out and fly around with us! We’ll just take a quicky jaunt down to the Dairy Queen and be the ENVY of all the other ships!
Listen to me prattle on! Let me share some more pictures. Here’s a pic when we went out to watch the sunrise! There was this silly little machine in the way though, we had to go around it. Something about a ‘sedintary mum’ or a ‘gentry gun’ or something like that. But gosh, it was awkward! Durned near ran into the thing! Don’t know why they litter the space with them, someone should do something about it!
And speaking of annoyances! At one point, we flew by the Serpenti’s place, and wouldn’t you know it, they had parked their mining barge in front of our house again! We’ve told them and told them and told them that this is OUR space, and they have no right parking their big ole smelly barge near us! We paid good money for this space, and they should stay in their own area! Well, the last time this happened, we told them we’d show them what for! So little Bobbie got out the manual – you know, he’s SUCH a smart boy! And then we heard this big booming noise! Well wouldn’t you know it, Bobbie unloaded a couple railgun charges right into the Serpenti’s garage! We always knew he’d do well!
Anyway, we’re off to the movies now. This puppy’ll sure turn heads when we pull into the drive in, that’s for sure! Tah tah for now!